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On The Day Your Ex Gets Married

Annie Butler

Advice

I'm entering my fifth year of blogging. I don't talk about it, ever, but those five years = two serious boyfriends. 

Blog Boyfriend #1 got married a few weekends ago.  I didn't expect to feel any way about it. I knew it was happening, and I knew the date it was happening, but I kind of thought the page would just fall away from my mental calendar without a second glance. I mean, I live 2000 miles across the country, and I've only kept contact with one or two of our mutual friends in the three years since our break up. There was a very small chance I could stumble on a photo from the big day on social media -- but even then, I'd have to go searching for it.

I didn't think I would notice. 
But guys, the day came, and it was WEIRD.

So, how should you feel on the day your Ex is getting married? Any way you damn please. It's strange to think about someone you once shared your life with, permanently pledging their life to someone else. 

I am so, very happy in my current relationship. I am so, so thankful for my past relationships that brought me here. I feel good that my Ex found a fulfilling life partner. But it's still weird.

So, on the day your Ex gets married, here's what I suggest:

  • Acknowledge it. It's happening. It's weird. You noticed it & that doesn't mean anything besides the fact that you're a human being. 
  • Be grateful. I believe in fate, which means your Ex is your ex for a reason. There's something else in store for you.
  • It's okay to be a little nostalgic.
  • But don't forget the reasons it didn't work.
  • If you ARE dating someone, be honest with them! I told my current boyfriend what was going on. He nodded. He said, "Yea, I bet that IS weird."  And then we had an amazing day. We ate donuts, hung out with friends, took blog photos, drank too much coffee, followed it up with a few dark and stormies, chatted, walked, explored the city. It wasn't until the end of the day, laying sunburnt in my bed, that my mind wandered back to the wedding, just for a fleeting second.
  • If you're NOT dating someone: make plans! There are a lot of people in your life in the present. There's no reason to dwell in the past. 

And know this: when your Ex pledges his life to another woman, well there's no more permanent kind of closure in the world! Ha!


Photo: Nikond3200 35mm / Edits: Adobe Lightroom and Photoshop

Annie's Studio Kitchen Tour

Annie Butler

Ikea Grundal Kitchen Bars

Long awaited and slightly spoiled by my SmallCool Contest... the "after" photos of my tiny little SF kitchen! Let's first take a trip down memory lane. Remember what my kitchen looked like when I moved in? Here's the "before" post and a few photos below. 

Apartment kitchen before and after
Before and After

This is honestly my favorite space in the apartment. Not just because it's where I cook dinner (Cough. Excuse me. Where I warm up pizza from the Whole Foods Refrigerated Section.), but also because it was the first room here in SF that I got "done."

That's a funny word, because of course no room is ever "done." A space grows and changes with your needs and taste. But, this was the room that I focused on making me right away. Moving here was really hard. I mean, I'm so happy I did, don't get me wrong. But living 2000 miles away from my family and everything I know -- that was a challenge. I really needed to make something here in SF mine, and I wanted to do it as quickly as possible. I did it here in this tiny kitchen. 

Que end of the sappy part of this post :D Anyway, you can see for yourself how the space evolved in the photos below. But I also wanted to point out a few of what I consider the "big impact" items:

  • Removing the cupboard doors. I did this RIGHT away. It's super easy, for you other renters out there. Literally just unscrew the hinges. Of course, before I move out, I'll have to screw them back on, but I absolutely think removing these doors opened the room a TON.
  • HANG EVERYTHING. Literally, everything. I hung pots and pans, I hung knives, I hung the paper towels, I hung plants, I hung baking supplies, I hung my pictures (as magnets on the fridge). There is one drawer and two "food" storage cupboards in this kitchen. That's not enough room for anything. Utilizing the wall space was imperative.
  • Draw the eyes up. It's true what they say, if you put something above the natural line of vision, your eye will travel up to see it. This layering of height helps the space feel much larger. I did this through the art above my cupboards and the hanging copper plant rod (a DIY I can share here, if you'd like!).
  • Speaking of the plants, Greenery. I've never had plants before, but now I have three succulents in the kitchen, two herbs the wall, mint in the corner, and an air plant on the fridge. You might think I'm crazy for saying this, but I feel like they're like my little pets! It's so fun to watch them grow. The plants add some needed life into this tiny kitchen.
  • You might notice I don't have a microwave.... so that's my final tip. Challenge yourself. I didn't think I could live without a microwave (ugh, pampered much?), but it actually is totally fine. I use this awesome wok that I found at a Thrift Store to make oatmeal in the morning and heat up leftovers. Those were pretty much the only reasons I ever used a microwave anyway! It feels great to save the space the microwave would have taken up.
Cute Tiny kitchen
Tiny Kitchen solutions
Plants in a tiny apartment kitchen
Small kitchen solutions
Tiny kitchen

Photos: Diana Lustig | Sources: Ikea Grundtal Kitchen Rods (pots and pans); Urban Outfitters Swan Watering Can; Bed Bath and Beyond Paper Towel Holder; Target Trash Can; Ikea Magnetic Knife Bar; Ikea Double Tiered Drying Rack; Hanging plants, Hanging Shelf and Modern Planter DIY's; Amazon Le Parfait Jars.


Red Maxi at Presidio

Annie Butler

Girl in a red dress

Hi friends! So many things to update you. 

  • First: thank you so much for your votes for my little studio apartment in Apartment Therapy's #SmallCool contest. I ended up in the top 8 for the teeny-tiny division, pretty neat! I'll have an official tour to share later this week. 
  • Second: Happy Mother's Day! (Belated). It was the first year I didn't get to tell my mom in person, which was hard. Luckily, there's face time. 
  • Third: Shout out to all the college graduates out there (including my little sister, and my photographer's little sister too!). So proud of you! I can't believe I graduated four years ago. Seems like a lifetime, and also like yesterday.
  • Fourth: Here's a new outfit post! Finally! It's been a while, I know. 

I'm really feeling the maxi dress trend this spring. I got this one at a little boutique in Haight Ashbury for $20! I love how easy it is to wear a maxi dress --  no jewelry or extra styling necessary. Yet, for it's effortless-ness, the maxi can also look very formal. 

Besides wearing this in a field, gallavanting through the Presidio, I can easily envision wearing this red maxi to a bridal shower, or even Rehearsal Dinner. 

What do you guys think? Feeling the maxi trend this year? I have so many sitting in my shopping carts across the web. Like this one, which I've been debating for weeks; and this one... OBSESSED. Who knows, you might see these gracing Ida Street some time in the future :D

Girl in a Red Dress
Red dress
girl in a red dress
Girl in a Red Dress
Girl in a red dress walking through field

Red Dress: Ducks in a Row, Similar
Motto Jacket: Similar from H&M


Photos: Jake Heath, Nikond3200, 35mm / Edits: Adobe Lightroom and Photoshop / Location: Presidio

Call for Voters: Small Cool

Annie Butler

Hello! Hi! Howdy! I'm really pumped because 1) I finally get to share some photos of my apartment with you and 2) I'm a contestant on Apartment Therapy's Small Cool Contest this year! It's kind of a dream of mine :)

That's why I'm here, actually. I would really love your vote. 

If you feel so inclined, please click on this link and "favorite" my entry on apartmenttherapy.com. I'm in the teeny-tiny division! 

If you don't have an account with Apartment Therapy, you can submit your email to receive a new url in your inbox to cast your vote. The contest is over this Friday (May 6) at 9am PST. After it's over, I'll take you on an official tour of my kitchen and studio. 

Love you guys so much!


Photos: Diana Lustig / Edits: Adobe Photoshop

5 years ago...

Annie Butler

What were you doing five years ago today?
You might have been in college, like me, studying for finals.
Or, instead of studying, starting a blog.

in-thekitchen.jpg

Yep. I've been blogging for five, whole, crazy, entire years. For better or worse, every embarrassing memory, style of writing, emo fashion post, and a little random poetry, are documented in this site. Much of it is buried, thank God, but you can still find it. It's a matter of searching the right terms in my search bar. (Lucky for you, I linked some of my most embarrassing ones at the end of this post 🙈.) 

So let's see, where was I five years ago? Well, I was 20 years old. I was at the end of my third year of undergrad. & I thought certainly, life was as complicated as it would ever get.

HA.

That's one really neat thing about blogging. Every year, I get to look back at my old posts, use a time warp (that I will hopefully find by next year) to smack myself in the face for thinking homemade filters were a good photo edit, and revel in the fact that I've grown up.

I barely recognize the girl I was when I started this blog five years ago. 
So, I guess that's the lesson I want to share: everything changes.

Including this blog!  Feast your heart out on the embarrassing posts of my youth. & from the bottom of my heart, thank you for taking the time to visit me here for these past five years. It's been a true honor to travel this journey with you.

girl baking
girl baking
  • When I was into rhyming, and I guess, really loved the beach. Here
  • Then, for a little while, haikus. Here.
  • My second ever fashion post, also around the time I stopped using capitalization. Here.
  • Then I started to draw. Here.
  • & omg my first power tool. Here.
  • When I thought I was finally an adult.... because I did my laundry at the laundromat. Here.
  • I pretended to care about sports: here, here, here and here.
  • I confessed a crush on ee cummings (what?! ya big weirdo) here.
  • Then I decided to write and illustrate my own children's novel. Here & here.
  • I got all emo about graduating here.
  • & then I actually graduated here.
  • I kept on drawing here.
  • I went back to Miami University as an alum, here.
  • I took ridiculous photos in front of construction sign here.
  • I posed in front of the side of a house here....
  • & in a parking lot behind my office here.
  • I used wrapping paper for a background (and it looked horrible) here.
  • & then told you guys all about my embarrassing posts... HERE!

I love you so much. Thanks for five tremendous years. xox


Photography: Jake Heath, Nikond3200 35mm and Kit Zoom Lens / Edits: Adbobe Lightroom and Photoshop